Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "this could only happen to me" ?? I have them frequently.
Take tonight for instance.
Tonight I went shopping. It was a spur of the moment decision. Greg was home early from work, nothing was on the calendar. The time was right. Christmas, after all, is 'bout 20 days away. I should get started with the process.
So off to Target I went. Have I mentioned that I hate shopping? I hate shopping. It's just not my bag. But I wandered up and down every aisle and was actually quite successful. I did manage to completely forget to look for one of the main gifts I went for, but that's typical. It doesn't surprise me. I also bumped into a few friends so enjoyed some visits in the aisles to help break the stressed shopping mode.
So. I filled my cart. I got Wendy a remote control truck she wanted...got Brian a walking toy...found some stocking stuffers in the dollar aisles. Then I went to get milk. While there I had a spontaneous craving for the single serving of chocolate milk...so I picked that up too.
Then the check out lane. Par for course I got in the slow lane. She tricked me. I thought she only had a few items from the dollar aisle. When she went to check out she handed over a pile of about 25 gift cards. Those all have to be rung in individually with the dollar amounts. Have I mentioned that I hate shopping?
Anyway...many dollar amounts later I finally got thru, checked out, loaded my stuff in the jeep and drove off. Remember my chocolate milk? I have that right by my side. I like to wait until I get on the straight stretch to enjoy my road snacks.
So I head out towards the expressway headed west. Back to home sweet home I go. As I'm on the ramp I started to peel the cover off my milk. It wasn't coming off. As best as I could while driving...I pried, I jimmied...it wouldn't budge.
So I decided to use my teeth. I popped that little jug lid between my gnashers and started to pry. Just when I thought I had it, just when it was starting to give...that baby slammed back shut and took my lip with it. NOW, I was still merging onto the expressway, one handed, my lip is painfully stuck between the lid and the jug, my eyes are watering...and all I can think is "only me"
To make a long story short...I let it dangle there for a moment while I got safely onto the expressway, then I let my knees do the steering while I grabbed the offending plastics off my face.
And when I got home and told my husband what happened he laughed and laughed and laughed! And he said that while I was gone, Wendy had sucked all the air out of a gatorade bottle and got the jug stuck on her face and he almost had to cut it off to get her released.
So, it's not just me. My daughter has inherited my uncanny ability to turn something supposedly everyday easy into an incredibly ridiculous event.
I am laughing out loud by myself over here. Thanks for sharing! Hilarious!
Posted by: Brita | December 05, 2005 at 09:59 PM
That sounds like something I would do- That Goodness it's not 'only me'' !
:)
Posted by: summer | December 05, 2005 at 10:26 PM
oh Sharyn~ That is too funny! Thanks for making me smile/laugh tonight!
Posted by: Dawn | December 05, 2005 at 10:51 PM
That is a great scrapbook page! Great writing...and hilarious!
Posted by: Shannon Snyder | December 05, 2005 at 11:38 PM
ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Posted by: Steph | December 05, 2005 at 11:50 PM
hilarious entry! i can totally see myself doing this, but my hubby wouldn't be laughing, he'd by shaking his head. (daughter's the same way)
btw, i was browsing through your christmas journal. very cool idea to use that ledger book. love what you've done so far. the pages with the stamps are very cool. gotta scrap lift that one : )
Posted by: Angi B | December 06, 2005 at 01:54 AM
ohmygosh, Sharyn... that is just too funny. I'm so sorry you had a chocolate milk container stuck to your lip. I have done simlar things -- glad to know it's not only me and I'm in good company :)
Ashley.
Posted by: Ashley | December 06, 2005 at 02:02 AM
I'm laughing out loud over here...with you, really, it is WITH you! I could just see me doing something just like that. Great story!
Posted by: Heidi (plualum) | December 06, 2005 at 02:08 AM
I just spit out my coffee laughing. That crap happens to me too, Torm!
Posted by: Barb H. | December 06, 2005 at 07:18 AM
You know I don't like to know about those things you do while you're driving!!!
Posted by: Mom | December 06, 2005 at 07:22 AM
Thank you for starting my day off with a great big chuckle!!! :)
Posted by: Linda J | December 06, 2005 at 07:41 AM
ooooooooooh my. choking on my oatmeal...
Posted by: Lisa | December 06, 2005 at 08:42 AM
Kindred spirits...that's what we are. My dh says I'm an accident waiting to happen. Keeps life interesting...at least for the people who observe the klutziness.
Hugs...
Nicky
Posted by: Nicky Foley | December 06, 2005 at 09:46 AM
*SNORT* the apple does not fall far from the tree, that's for sure. Bummer about your lip, but good about the safe driving.
Posted by: Kelly Edgerton | December 06, 2005 at 10:37 AM
yes, my dear... only to you. i think you could write a best seller with things such as this. you and the milk, your daughter and the gatorade - and how could we forget the truffle lady? ;)
Posted by: melanie | December 06, 2005 at 11:39 AM
I need to go clean off my computer monitor now...I just spewed Dt. Mtn Dew everywhere :)
Posted by: Steph (karlslove) | December 06, 2005 at 12:26 PM
I have that kid, too! He can give himself a lip hicky by doing that vacuum suction thing with plastic cups or bottles. Funny, funny stuff! Hey maybe one of those camera traffic enforcer things caught you on film and you're currently entertaining the traffic cops and brightening their holidays! See? Silver lining to near-death experience at the hands of demonic chocolate milk container! Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Karen | December 06, 2005 at 12:58 PM
Oh MY! This is one of the funniest things I've heard in a looooooong time! : ) I think the visual of your daughter is even funnier!!
Tracey
Posted by: Tracey | December 06, 2005 at 01:47 PM
I am so sorry but LMAO I have had similar problems myself glad it isn't only me.
Posted by: Chiara | December 06, 2005 at 02:19 PM
Oh I hear your pain. I never did know that a milk jug could be so dangerous! WOW!
Posted by: Barbie | December 06, 2005 at 04:14 PM
Oh my gosh!!!!! You are too funny!!!!! And I used to think those things only happened to me...
Posted by: joanna | December 06, 2005 at 04:23 PM
*oh my*... what else is there to say?
THanks for the laugh!
Sherry
Posted by: sherry steveson | December 06, 2005 at 05:03 PM
ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Melodee | December 06, 2005 at 07:50 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
Posted by: jessie | December 07, 2005 at 02:19 AM
ROFLOL!!! SHaryn, that is so hilarious. btw, next time, but the little bottle with a screw off top ;)
Posted by: Amy B--perumbula | December 07, 2005 at 11:19 AM
buy the bottle. yeeesh. I need more sleep
Posted by: Amy B--perumbula | December 07, 2005 at 11:20 AM
OMG Torm...that is just too much!!!!! I will forever think of you when I get a chocolate milk!!!! :)
Posted by: Heather | December 07, 2005 at 12:17 PM
Lips and nips!!!
Posted by: BOO! | December 08, 2005 at 08:50 PM
tears coming down my face...
... sorry
...just... too ... funny!
Posted by: Cammy | December 09, 2005 at 10:59 PM