Photo taken yesterday - 4/19/2012
Yesterday morning I woke up and was ready to hit the ground running, but couldn't quite decide which way to run. The house needs a major spring cleaning (MAJOR), but I also had some running about that I needed to do. Thursdays can be a long day in this house because it's the day that Mark doesn't have school or story hour, although story hour is done for the year so now Tuesdays are long too.
L................................O.........................N...............................G.
With that in mind, I decided that Friday will be cleaning day and Thursday would be running day.
First stop?
How could that NOT be a favorite activity? My dad and I got hooked on the pies sometime last year, and now we're on a mission to work our way through their entire pie menu. We kind of got hung up on the strawberry/rhubarb for awhile, and then he went through this few month stint where he was trying not to eat gluten, but now he's eating it again and yesterday we knocked another pie off our list. (the Lakeshore Crumb Berry)
We're convinced that they don't make a bad pie, but we feel it necessary to do the proper research and decide for ourselves.
*****
My dad has prostate cancer.
I can share this here now because his family and employer now know and it's just easier for me if you know. After all, it's hard to share stories of hospital waiting rooms and wheelchair awkwardness if I can't share why I'm experiencing them in the first place.
Just wait until you hear my waiting room strategies.
We've actually known about his cancer since last fall, but what we didn't know then how invasive it really was. Now with a new hospital and a new set of doctors, we know that the cancer has metastasized to his liver and his hips and his spinal column and more and that while it is not a treatable cancer, there are ways to push back the symptoms.
The symptoms are different daily.
So it's a one day at a time journey. It's why my mom was here earlier this month because those two weeks were full of tests and being admitted and being discharged and I was wrung out. Having my mother here relieved the stress of those days greatly.
It's why now is the time for us to get a new van, because if the appointments become more frequent I sure don't need my dad complaining from the passenger seat about the lack of a/c on a 100 degree summer day, not to mention the very real possibility of ending up on the side of the road. We were due for a new van anyway. so it's time.
It's why I finally figured out how to set up the voice mail on my cell phone. It's why I check my phone during church - to make sure I'm not missing an urgent call from either my dad or the hospital.
It's why I got my hair cut, because right now I'm in keep it simple mode. It's why there might be some emails I've missed answering - if I've missed answering yours, hit me with it again.
And I'm left grateful, again, for wonderful neighbors who have been a huge help with my kids, and for teachers who are forgiving when I missed a signed slip or homework here or there during those weeks. I'm grateful for my lifelong friends and family who are checking on me and ready to lend a hand if needed. I'm sure at some point over the next couple/few years - I'll be needing them more and more.
It's not easy to need, but I'm grateful that I'm surrounded by so many people that make it easier.
I'm grateful that I have three brothers nearby and a sister who will fly in as needed (she will be coming in May, more for herself than for dad at this point - but as per her wishes, we have left all the house cleaning for when she comes, it wasn't easy - but we're eager to please) and that we are all on the same page and we all share the same humor and coping mechanisms which just makes everything easier. While my brothers work, and sometimes it just makes more sense for me to run dad here or there, my brothers have had no problems taking time off work when needed. I'm grateful for their understanding bosses (and mine) as well, because it would be impossible for me to do it alone.
As of today - things are stable. My dad is at home and able to take care of himself and control his pain. His spirits are good. Now that he's back on gluten, he's starting to put a little weight back on. He has started treatments and the appointments are further apart for the time being.
We'll see what tomorrow brings. Day by day.
-------
Funny from yesterday: As Mark and I were picking up a pie, we also picked up a cookie for Mark. Back in the van and on the way to my dads I mentioned to Mark that we could eat a cookie or pie once we got to grandpas. Mark was dumb-founded. OR??????
Mark had both.
Ah Sharyn, I'm very, very sorry to hear about your dad's cancer. It brings tears to my eyes in relation to our experiences with my father-in-law back in 2004-5. So sorry!
Posted by: Lisa A. | April 20, 2012 at 08:58 AM
Hugs to you and yours! Just remember God will take care of you.
Posted by: Megan | April 20, 2012 at 09:06 AM
I am very sorry for cancer. I am not even sure what to say except you will be in my prayers and just take it one day at a time. God Bless. Susan
Posted by: Susan | April 20, 2012 at 09:18 AM
Sharyn...I read your blog every day and was so sad to read about your dad this morning. I'm glad that you are able to share now. It will be easier for you not having to hold it in. You are a great mother,wife, and daughter and I'm glad that you have so many siblings that are able to help you. I am the only one when it comes to helping an elderly aunt and also my elderly mom so you are blessed in that way. Cherish every moment you have with your dad. I know you will! Also make sure to take care of yourself or you wont be able to care for others!
Posted by: Jersey Girl Anne | April 20, 2012 at 09:20 AM
Hugs!
Posted by: Sherry | April 20, 2012 at 09:28 AM
Cancer suck.. Sorry.
Remember to take a deep breathe everyday.
Been there...
Posted by: jennifer Camplin | April 20, 2012 at 09:43 AM
I love your attitude, Torm. Who knew pie sampling and doctor shuttling could be such an adventure? Thank you for letting us cheer you all on from the sidelines. Your father and your family will be in our prayers. Take care.
Posted by: Rene W | April 20, 2012 at 09:52 AM
sorry that you are dealing with this Torm, it sucks and there really isn't much more to say about that....except I am glad that you are able to support him and make it work from those who help support you. If you got family & friends, who do you got? I will be adding an extra prayer at night for your dad. hugs
Posted by: Mary | April 20, 2012 at 10:08 AM
okay - it should read "if you don't got" and Torm, I don't remember ever calling you that - I was reading the post above me when I was typing...
Posted by: Mary | April 20, 2012 at 10:09 AM
HUGGGGsss to you! What a journey it is, this life. I am glad to hear you have a support system and are willing to use it.
Posted by: Jan | April 20, 2012 at 10:48 AM
I've never wished that I lived closer to you more than now so that I could be there to help. We don't say these things easily enough to friends but I love you, Sharyn, and you know where to find me if you ever need a shoulder. A huge big non-Finn ((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))) to you!!!!
Posted by: Steph @ Steph's Stuff | April 20, 2012 at 11:49 AM
thinking of you, sharyn.
Posted by: marne | April 20, 2012 at 12:40 PM
That's a lot to hold in since fall. I'm sorry your family has to deal with this. I hope you get the support that you need, especially during those hard moments. Lots of love, thoughts and prayers for your family. And, btw, the easier hairdo looks good on you.
Posted by: Mindijo | April 20, 2012 at 12:54 PM
Thinking of you and your dad, Sharyn.
Posted by: Kathryn | April 20, 2012 at 12:55 PM
Its hard to watch your parents get old....my dad is 84 and experiencing some life threatening issues as well. Sending good thoughts your way. :)
Posted by: darla | April 20, 2012 at 01:26 PM
I could just type "echo" and be done. So sorry to hear about your dad's illness. My mom now has breast cancer at age 85. This is new news for us so the shuttling to and fro for us is just starting. As I do my share of the shuttling, playing nurse, sitting in waiting rooms, and waiting and waiting and waiting, I'll be thinking of you...
Posted by: Selma | April 20, 2012 at 02:06 PM
Sending hugs and prayers for your dad and family. My grandfather has been living with prostate cancer for several years now as well. I'm glad you have shared what's going, here on your blog. I'm sure being able to talk about it will help.
Posted by: Casie | April 20, 2012 at 02:09 PM
Lakeshore Berry is divine :)
Thinking of you, and offering a friendly shoulder when you may need one.
Posted by: suetreiber | April 20, 2012 at 02:12 PM
I'm sorry, Sharyn.
Posted by: Tracey | April 20, 2012 at 03:14 PM
I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for your Dad and your family.
Posted by: terridavenport | April 20, 2012 at 05:36 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this, Sharyn. I'm sending you some big old internet hugs and when you finally make it to Portland, I'm going to track you down and give you a real one! <3
Posted by: Erica Hettwer | April 20, 2012 at 06:02 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your father. It sounds like he's doing well right now and you sound like you are able to help with everything he needs. You are a good daughter.
I was just thinking of you today. I was with my family and had to share a Sharyn up north story. I wish we lived closer so we could be neighbor friends, instead of just internet friends.
I will be keeping you and yours in my prayers.
Amanda
Posted by: Amanda J. | April 20, 2012 at 07:56 PM
There are no words adequate to express my heartfelt sorrow for your dad's illness! I truly appreciate you sharing your life so openly on your blog and will definitely keep your dad and you in my thoughts and prayers!
Posted by: Angie | April 20, 2012 at 08:13 PM
Take it a day at a time, Sharyn... Thinking of you all....
Posted by: Liz Pietila | April 20, 2012 at 10:59 PM
Thinking of all of you. Take care!
Posted by: Tina | April 21, 2012 at 07:40 AM
thinking of you...
Posted by: Annu | April 22, 2012 at 02:51 PM
Sorry to hear about your father's illness. Take care, hang in there and leave no regrets...but you already do that anyway don't you?
Posted by: Katrina | April 22, 2012 at 06:34 PM
That's rotten news. So glad you live near your dad so you can help him out. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!
Posted by: Ann Bimberg | April 22, 2012 at 09:16 PM
Oh Sharyn, I am so sorry to hear this news. I know we have never met IRL but I feel I know u and your family from reading your blog daily for a few years now. I will pray for your dad, and for your strength to get thru this. My hubby had kidney cancer summer before last, and every time we go back for the 6 month rechecks I am worried sick. They actually saw a spot on his lung and thyroid last visit, I am hoping they were just shadows, so this next visit will be a nail biter. Sending you a big HUG from La.!
Posted by: Lisa L. | April 23, 2012 at 07:49 AM
Praying for you. Even though we have never met I have been reading your blog for years. You have helped and inspired me in more ways than you will ever know. I am sure that is true of most people you touch through your blog. We are keeping your father and all of you in our prayers.
Posted by: Tina Rhodes | April 23, 2012 at 08:28 AM
Just catching up on a few weeks of your blog - behind due to a variety of difficulties, challenges, and celebrations in my extended family. Glad you have such a wonderful support system! I know blogging is a good outlet for you. Know that it is also a good inspiration to many of us who read it. Others that I read about show only the "high light reels" of their lives. You show "reality" and remind me that I am not the only one going through more stuff than I generally care to list. God's blessings to you and yours.
Posted by: Michelle P | April 25, 2012 at 05:32 PM