I've been walking every day.
Yesterday I went out for five miles. It's become noticeable that when coming upon someone on the same sidewalk, even from a block or two away, they'll cross over to the other side of the street before getting too close. I respect that, fully. I question why they always cross before I do.
I mentioned before that every walk has me seeing someone I know. Yesterday it was our old mailman. I had seen him and talked to him for a few minutes at a basketball game recently. I still miss having him as our mailman, but his route got changed quite a few years ago. Of all the mail carriers that we've had, he's the only one that I've ever known by name. Why? Because he would bring our mail to the door with the packages, knock, and hand deliver. Every one after has tossed the package on the porch and not even given us a heads up that it was there. He went the extra mile.
There was a tangent.
Anyway. Saw him yesterday. Me: Hey Jim! Him: Hey Sharyn! You still over there at [rattles off where I live]. Me: Yep!
Part of my walk took me by the high school. I had never seen or been on this trail before. I admit, I had a moment of please don't find a body, please don't find a body, as the grass was long, the school deserted, and the path extends to the back entrance of the hospital. Then I laughed at myself because I knew I shouldn't have had that last cup of coffee and, well, there's irony in that plea that I'm not quite ready to share. I also came uncomfortably close to slipping and doing a full on plop in that slick mud.
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I had to make a choice this week that was difficult for me.
I've mentioned before (probably too many times) that I like to be busy. I like to be doing.
Last week I helped out with some food deliveries. Last week there still weren't any coronavirus cases in our county and I intentionally chose the shorter, outdoor shift. Less time = less chances for contact + outdoors. It's the first time I recall my husband ever vocally questioning a choice that I had made.
I signed up for the same shift this week.
However, between then and now, we've had cases in our county. Between then and now, I've read even more articles on how COVID-19 spreads and how long it stays in the air. Between then and now, I've watched videos of what they are dealing with in the hospitals in Italy.
It was hard for me, but I sent an email explaining that I was going to have to take my name off the food distribution list. Once I commit to something, I'm committed 110% - so going back on that was extremely difficult. I felt, feel, like I'm admitting weakness. I understand that I'm not, but that doesn't change the way that it makes me feel. I could keep a counselor busy for a very long time.
I'm being forced to remember, and to admit, that I do have a compromised immune system. I do need to be careful, and I do occasionally need to be reminded of that. Being born with pneumonia, I had it multiple times as a kid. I have scar tissue on my lungs from all those episodes, and while I have managed to go twenty plus years without pneumonia - I had it again last year. Boy, that made me cranky. My seasonal allergies have had me getting an inhaler every spring for the last couple years. When running, I find myself slowing to a walk for my breathing, not for my legs. I've learned to use my inhaler before competing in a 5K, and now even on my regular runs.
Each and every single day, I wake up with that hard non-producing cough, and each and every single day - I start with a cup of hot water, apple cider vinegar and honey to subside it. It works, and I've done it for as long as I can remember.
I have to make the hard choices.
And I don't like it.