Live from Tormville!

4am

It's kind of ironic, really - that I should have been the one to wake up to some odd noise.  Me, who can't hear.  But it was enough to wake me up. I lay in bed trying to figure out what in the world it could be. 

It's hard to describe the sound of it, really - if I were forced to, I would say it sounded like a car horn beeping intermittently but without a pattern - and the car was wrapped up in 27 layers of bubble wrap so it could just very barely be heard.  But it was definitely there, enough to wake me.

And then I had the thought (remember - it was 4am) that maybe - just maybe - this is some sound that only small kids and dogs could hear.  Perhaps this is why my boys have been waking up every night for the last week.  MAYBE it's some type of....and my mind started running away with me.  One can't listen to conspiracy theories for over 19 years without have a stray thought or two themselves. Proven fact.

PA! WAKE UP! I said in a loud whisper.  If I was privy to this meant to be secret signal meant to drag my children out of bed and lead them who knows where...if I was enabled for just a few moments to have this clue, this piece of information that might save all the children of the world, well - then - I wanted Pa to be there with me. I wanted him to go first.

PA! WAKE UP! I whispered again and attached it to a poke in his rib cage.  Do you hear that, uh...car hornish wrapped in bubble wrap noise? 

I did, also, for the record, state my disclaimer right up front.  I confessed that it just might be in my head but it sounded so real. And while I've heard marching bands many times in my head....never ever ever have I heard bubble wrapped car horns before. 

So he went first and I followed. Bravely.  Upstairs. Downstairs. I even peeked my head out in the backyard to see if I could see the pied piper. Nothing.

hm.

Then I stuck my fingers in my ears and the noise was still there.

Three more days until my ear appointment.

********************

Happy Mother's Day everyone!!!!

And wow - just look at all those entries!!!  I love hearing what everyone is doing!  I'll keep it open one more day and draw first thing tomorrow.

be good! ;)   

Who does she think she's fooling?

I have to take a little break from mom week and get this one down...it still makes me chuckle a day later. 

Last night I had to do a quick milk run when Pa Torm got home.  He got home at 8:00 in the evening, so again, it was another long day.  The store is just a few blocks away but since I needed milk I drove rather than walked. 

I made my way up and down the aisles and eventually found my way to the check-out line. Only one was open, it's just a small market and it was getting close to closing time.  I happened to get in line behind 2 women with a cart full.  Diapers in two sizes, the same bread that I had, a snickers bar...you know, the essentials.  The older women had offered that I could go first since I just had a few things and she was also going to purchase mulch and cigarettes - purchases that require a little extra time for the process. 

I replied that I was just fine.  Afterall - this was my big outting for the evening...totally not a problem. 

She wanted soft carton Marbolo's - but they didn't have those by the carton - so she debated between the box or just getting a single pack, etc..  She turned around again to me and apologized - embarrassed at how much longer her transaction was taking then she had planned on.  Again, I replied, so not a problem. 

At this time I was pretty confident that I knew who this woman was.  I had been adding up the clues - the two sizes of diapers, my own memory, a few things that she mentioned to her daughter... and when I finally felt 100% certain that I'd nailed it and wouldn't make a fool of myself I said, "Your Jacob's mom, aren't you?"  To which she replied, with a bit of surprise, 'why yes!' 

My Allan plays with Jacob several times a week and they walk home from the bus stop together - they live on the far side of the block. 

Now - while you may wonder why we didn't recognize each other visually - we have spoken on the phone a few times, but I'm mostly familiar with Jacob's older sisters.  Jacob is the second to the bottom of 7 kids and has many of the same family values that we have.  As far as run around with the neighbor kid choices go - I like Jacob.

After we talked about the boys for a bit then - she then sheepishly says as she's tucking the cigarettes into her purse (she decided on the one box of soft side) "don't tell the boys I bought these"  I told her that her secret was certainly safe with me. 

Eventually we all made our way out of the local mart and once again at home I mentioned to Allan that I had been in line behind Jacob's mom.  And I laughed until my eyes watered at his response.....

"She smells like cigarettes doesn't she?"

Who does she think she's fooling?   

She had a set of knockers

Did you do skits as a kid?  Me?  no.  I was shanghai'ed into one or two against my will - but it wasn't something I enjoyed.  We didn't do them at our house - just didn't.  Too much reclusive introverted blood there. 

But it seemed that at least once a week found us out at our cousins in the country.  They did skits. A lot.  And they seemed to like it.  I secretly dreaded when one of them would ask their mother, "what can we do, we're bored"  and she would answer, "Hey!  Do a skit"  and the cousins would run off, excited, "Hey...let's do that one where...."  "I want to be grandma this time!" "Can I be the baby"  "I want to wear...."  and. so. on

But in my head was I wonder if they'd notice I was missing if I sat in the station wagon 'till we go home.  Or - doggone it, what is it with these skits???  They better not make me wear that ugly dress again.  Aren't skits a sin or something????  rackleschnacklegrumblearghgroan

And we did skits.  And they were just lovely if I didn't have to be in them. 

And now, thirty some odd years later I still have cousins doing skits.   Remember the birthday party this past week?  The one with the silly no camera rule?  Yeah.  That one.  They did a funny skit there.  Years and years of skit practice makes for some good laughs to a bunch of women in their late 30's and early 40's. 

So let me try and write a visual picture.  I probably chose this route as a child also.  I have a box full of old diaries and notebooks.  My cousins acted out, I wrote. 

Anyway

So there we were on Wednesday night - a room full of ladies, most of us have known each other for 30-40 years, so the jokes make sense...they don't need to be explained.  And we're chatting, enjoying our cake and icecream.  Coffee.  Always coffee in a room full of Finns.

And in walks Beth our hostess.  She's wearing a suit dress in mint green that looks oddly like the curtains I remember from my childhood home.  One button crooked, nylons rolled at the ankles, one hip higher than the other, an old lady wig and some buck teeth.  What impressed me the most was how well she could talk with  those buck teeth in.  That Beth hostess, she was talented, I'll tell ya that.  If you close your eyes real tightly you can almost imagine her, I imagine....  Hey...I'm good

She had some important announcements to make about the birthday girl - we took a little walk down memory lane, and she said that as a special treat....they were going to do a part of a show. 

What a show.  Complete with the gal Lynette with knockers. This gal had on a long blond frizzy wig, a pink cardigan, a pair of capris and some high heel shoes.  Oh...and she had some headphones on her head because she was important, complete with wires dangling along behind her.  She was the prompt girl.  She started off the show with those knockers - "Three - One - Two - Roll 'em!"  And she'd knock those paper towel rolls together like a live action movie thingiemabob and get that skit started.  And she was good - got it started several times just swell.   

And Beth the hostess then went on some more to talk about the birthday girls pedigree.  "ValAdictor.eeeAN!"  for instance. Only we screwed that up...I remembered wrong.  Debbie was Salutatorian.  I never liked that Angie gal that was one point above her much anyway.  In our minds, it was Debbie.  So as the hostess announced these things, there would be the knocker girl, walking across the stage with her prompts that she had tied ever so handily around her neck.  "Laugh loudly!"  "clap clap clap"  "Act Impressed!" 

And we did
Cuz we were impressed

But nobody moreso than me.  Thirty years later...I still have cousins doing skits.......

Holiday flashbacks

I was having holiday flashbacks yesterday as I drove up the driveway and looked at the wreaths on our second story window.  I found this excerpt from my journal that tells it all.......

December 10, 2003

Always during the event of yet another comical event exuding from our home I get a visual of all the neighbors looking out at us, shaking their heads perhaps, maybe rolling their eyes or just letting out a loud "hardy har har" while yelling for the relative closest to them to "come look!  The Torms are at it again!"

Like today.  I was decorating for Christmas and had this bright idea that the wreath would look lovely on the front door. Only, it doesn't fit real well there...the screen door doesn't want to shut correctly if it's hung there. Pretty, but not really practical.  There's the side door, but not so many people see it there, and what's the good of that?

Never let it be said that I'm not full of bright ideas.  Upon wandering around the outer circle of our home I decided (light bulb moment) that it would we perfect if hung on the window above our front porch, easily enough accessible from my nook window. 

Or not so easy. 

The window is actually a bit tough to get to, being that there are carts full of product and paper, and on top of these my avalanches of product and paper.  But I'm not called a stubborn Finn for nothing - I managed to move things just a bit, prop myself on a stool and crack that window just enough to shimmy the wreath up and over.  Whew. 

The problems began when I couldn't actually close the window for the hook hanging over the top of it.  Another bright idea came to be, and I decided that this wreath should also hang by ribbon like the ones on the other two windows.  Out with the hook!  I pulled the wreath back in and tied a ribbon to it.  I managed to get it back out the window once more...and I let go.   And it went.  Right out the window and onto our porch roof.  I may have said some words that weren't very Christmasy.  Did I mention it was also raining out?  By now I was getting into the comical side of the situation a bit and I chuckled to myself and went onto the next step.  Out to the garage to get a big shoving stick.

And back to my nook I trudged.  Wreath shoving pole in hand.

I took a deep breath, leaned over my avalanches and carts and opened that window from the bottom so that I could stick that pole out and perhaps shove that wreath so it would fall onto the ground below.  I'm starting to notice blinds and curtains discreetly moving in the neighboring houses by now. They are onto me.  I don't care.  I got that window open and not a half second later my avalanches (never underestimate the avalanches) went *whip whip whip* out that window! Patterned paper on the run!  By now my eyes are watering from the hilarity of it all - and I'm having to pause for a moment with my legs tightly crossed to prevent adding further incidents to the day.  I quickly gathered my wits and finished the job I started by shoving that wreath to the ground before slamming the window shut. 

The front of our home was now littered with patterned paper and an oddly shaped wreath.  The paper went straight to the trash...and the wreath, it's hanging on our side door.  It's really the best place for the misshapen thing.

And I've never hung a wreath out that window again...... 

Remember my quest?

For a new dress?

I should have stayed on it.  I ended up with...if you recall...a choir uniform.  White shirt, black skirt.  B.O.R.I.N.G.  But they fit.

Or so I thought.

There was a wedding this past weekend.  The bride, a cousin of sorts - the groom - we know the family.  I always enjoy weddings.  I especially enjoy watching the front rows being ushered out and watching all the family resemblences.  Seeing old friends from years gone by.  Visiting.  Cake.

Anyway. 

When I got to the wedding I headed downstairs to put our card in the box.  I ended up alongside the father of the bride, and we were talking photography.  We enjoy sharing photography links and ideas back and forth to each other, and we were discussing wether he wants me to refer him as I still continually turn down senior photo calls.  We discussed this down the first flight of steps and were on the landing with a bunch of little boys directly behind us when I felt a quick breeze on my ankles that confused me. 

I looked down.

heh.

My skirt was right down there at my ankles.  Dead serious.  The bride's father...he kinda pretended he didn't notice, but I know he did cuz he stopped talking.  I'm so onto him.   I didn't hear the boys giggling...but I'm sure they were...cuz I know I was.  I yanked it up real quick and went straight to the ladies room laughing the whole way.  I mean, really....what else can you do?  I laughed nearly thru the whole wedding...kind of a change for me, normally I bawl...but I had the giggles really bad.  I was sitting all alone too, which I'm sure made for some curious glances. 

All I could think of afterwards that had I taken just one more step...I would have walked right out of my skirt and not even been able to pull it up.  Can you imagine??  Or tripped and taken a digger down those last few stairs making a real spectacle of myself.  Oh...the what ifs.....

I managed to hold onto it then and pinned it up after the ceremony.  darn skirts.  I knew I wanted a dress. 

So that's the story of how I lost my skirt in church. 

I'm still laughing.....it's one of those things that I know will catch me laughing out loud as I'm driving alone. 

growth spurt

One of my favorite things to do is eavesdrop on childrens conversations.  Yes..I'm bad. 

A little background...Allan is 10 and a little short for his age, nearly the shortest in his class.  Wendy, 5 years younger is catching up to him fast.  Allan has a cousin over today...and I caught the end of this conversation:

Allan:  I'm short for my age, but my grandma is short too.
Kent:  Your grandma Tormanen?
Allan:  yeah..I'm almost as tall as her
Kent:  oooh, she'll get her growth spurt soon I bet and she'll be a tall granny
Allan:  yeah, probably
Allan:  I had a growth spurt when I was a baby
Kent:  pretty much everybody gets that

And so on....

Laugh with me

It was a quiet Sunday in Tormville.  Brian was playing...I was cozied up with a book.  The big kids were playing in the backyard with a few neighbor kids. 

I couldn't help but be distracted by the big kids. They were having so much fun!  We have just enough snow for them to run and jump on the inflatable sled and shoot across our backyard.  And they were having a ball!

It was situation irresistable.  Just when they had it all set up I shot out of the doorwall as quickly as an overweight near 40 woman can.  I landed on that sled just right and shot across the yard whooping and holloring the whole way, much to the children's glee.  I stood up pretty darn proud of myself.

And the first person I saw was the father of the girl from down the street. She's been playing here for near 3 years now and this was the first time I've ever seen him. He came at that exact moment to come and pick her up.

*heh*

*heh* *heh* *heh*